I need Saving...

I jokingly say ‘Relationships are overrated!’ but deep down I long to have that one person who will stick by me and love me. The only way I get through the pain and loneliness is by joking about it. When I am alone I feel it most and it plays on my mind. I think about all the people who have their person; I break down and cry. I fear that I am too broken or too messed up for anyone to love me. It hurts because abandonment is all I know. My father left when I was young. Then my mother left. All I ever wanted and all I ever want is to feel loved.

But I think I am too broken for anyone to ever love. To ever be picked. I am alone in a room full of people. I am not even the last person to be chosen, I am just... never chosen. And that hurts! Knowing that I will not be chosen. Knowing that I'll be left so I dont go out. I don't do the things I want to. The fear of just being on my own is too painful.

Some say you don’t realise how strong you are. The fact is I just about made it through the week. I dread the next day every time a new one arises. My light within is slowly dying and right now it is so dim it is about to go out.

I need saving.