Raindrops.

Silent. It hides from it yet I long for it's affection. They believe that nothing and nothingness are two completely different things. I run to heal and die upon return. Once you have done it all; where is left to run. A noun is an object in a time, a place yet a mental state is both. So if the light was given, the tunnel mine, I wouldn't move. I can’t move.

I can't say how it feels. What would be the Attraction to Discovering the word. A place where no one would visit. It breaks. It takes. It is burdensome. Manipulates. Strives to destroy. So you keep swimming. Apply the bubble wrap. Create the characters. Make the scene. Yet the fake is clear. Then it starts again. Taking. What is that word?

I can overthink until I think about how to stop thinking. Almost sounds like a joke. Until realism kicks in. A smack to the face you never felt yet you know what it means. You swim deeper and deeper. Chasing. Then comes the entertaining. For how better to make the mind silent than to give it something new to think about?

By the time I have done all the running I am left alone yet again. But I am not truly alone am I? The thoughts of the past are still lingering and taunting me. How am I ever going to be free when the thoughts of the past will not leave. I am tired of running. I am just tired. Am I tired of being myself or am I tired of the past? I cannot tell.

But what I do know is I do not miss who I used to be. I have grown and become stronger as time has gone on. I think deep down it is something to be proud of. But for right now it is hard to feel anything.

The days that it rains, when there are thunderstorms that is the best! It makes me feel almost whole, it grounds me. To me that is peace. It was so peaceful hearing the sound of the rain pitter patter on the roof. The louder the rain got the more I smiled. It made me feel happy inside and it radiated out of me. That wasn’t the only thing that was making me smile recently.